#45 Coping with change
I have wanted to write about coping with change for a while – partly as self-therapy because ongoing changes can be overwhelming, challenging and exhilarating.
We are all having to deal with more change than usual recently thanks to the global pandemic (isn’t it funny when words like pandemic are now part of everyday language rather than in a film script?). Every aspect of our lives has changed – our freedom to travel, our enforced social bubbles, the restrictions on how we entertain ourselves, the fear of being infected with a new and unpredictable virus. This is something which is out of our control and often our perception to change and our ability to cope with it is linked to whether or not the change is within our control.
Think about the following scenarios and how different we feel depending on whether we instigate the change:
You choose to change career or find a new job VERSUS you are unexpectedly made redundant
You end a relationship that is no longer making you happy VERSUS someone you love making the decision to end the relationship
Having experienced all of these scenarios personally, it’s interesting to reflect on how the change can have just as much negative impact and cause dramatic reactions even if we are the instigator.
So why do we humans find it difficult to cope with change? Our brains are programmed to find peace in knowing what is going to happen. If we don’t, we tend to focus on the negative ‘what ifs’ rather than the positive. We would rather avoid change because the associated feelings are too uncomfortable – our comfort zone is cosy because we know what to expect. Even if we may not be fulfilled or happy, we are comfortable with the status quo - as in the way things are rather than the rock band ;0).
Let’s face it though, change is inevitable – the impact of the ageing process, the pace of technology, political influences on our daily lives and climate change. There is little we can do to avoid this so it is much better if we can manage our reactions and attitude towards change.
I try to see changes from a glass half full perspective:
What is the point in getting worked up about changes that I can’t influence? Life is too short
What if it DOES work out? What if I am missing out on the best thing that could ever happen to me?
There is absolutely no shame in admitting that I am not coping well with change and I can ask for support
I am definitely not the only one feeling this way so I will find other people that share my experience
It’s ok if the worst-case scenario is actually the outcome of this change – I can make a plan just in case
I am going to try and apply my usual PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) to the changes that I am personally facing as my business grows. We are going through a growth spurt and have almost doubled the size of our team in a relatively short space of time. I sometimes struggle with the inevitable changes to the way we work and interact with each other and the fear of making bad decisions. BUT whatever happens, I am so incredibly proud of what we have achieved so far and how we have never compromised on our values. I also truly believe that it’s good to try new things and embrace change. If they don’t work then you learn from them and move on - in fact this was the topic of a previous blog about failure.
