#43 Learn to say No
I have never been that good at saying no. Whether it is taking on more work when I haven’t got capacity, going to social events I don’t really want to go to, accepting a meeting when I am already in back to back meetings, helping someone out when I haven’t really got time….the list goes on.
But recently I have been taking a step back to consider how this has an impact on me and my well-being.
I have very little time to fit in the important things at work that I should be focused on
Work that I can’t get done during work time is spilling into personal time
I am not leading by example to inspire others in the way that I want to
I have also read a book or two during my week off which is always dangerous!
WHY is it so hard to say no?
Most of the time, I don’t say no because I don’t want to disappoint, offend or upset the person who is asking for my time, help, advice. Who else can relate to the following?
If I say no, it means that someone else will have to take on more
If I say no, perhaps they will think I am selfish and don’t care about them
If I say no, I will probably feel guilty which will be worse than the impact of saying yes
If I say no, I will suffer from major FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
BUT if I put a positive spin on these reasons:
If I say no, it means that others may get the chance to shine
If I say no, it shows that I am authentic and honest
If I say no, it allows me to do the things where I can add more value
If I say no, I can benefit from JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)!
Why is it good to say no?
There is nothing wrong with protecting our own well-being. I know that I am no good to anyone if I am continually frazzled and burnt-out. All of the things I want to be for myself and others are difficult to achieve if my time is spread too thin - energetic, enthusiastic, positive, strong.
I need to be in control of how I spend my time during or outside of work hours
I need to delegate more and step away from things I don’t need to be involved in
I need to free up more time to do the things that make me happy - business and pleasure!
It’s all about finding a balance (isn’t everything!) – too much no can create a negative perception and missed opportunities but too little no can risk overloading and lead to stress.
As a starting point, from a personal perspective I am going to schedule in more holidays, take more breaks and say no to things I just don’t want to do. From a work perspective, as a proud business owner I am introducing some new initiatives designed to encourage a less intense environment and a health work life balance.
