#30 Don't struggle alone
I chose this topic because I have observed quite a few people struggling more than usual over the past couple of weeks (including myself). My sense is that the prolonged uncertainty of when things might get ‘back to normal’ and the impact of coping is now taking its toll.
Everyone’s mental state has been affected by the pandemic to one degree or another. Even those of us who are lucky enough to have kept our jobs and not been furloughed or don’t have children or elderly family members to worry about have felt the strain. Particularly if we have others relying on us to be strong role models, it can be a lot of pressure. I have put together 5 tips to help us accept that there is no shame in struggling but we shouldn’t go through it alone.
Don’t beat yourself up
It is perfectly normal not to feel ok right now - as if the affects of lockdown weren’t enough, we are also bombarded with negative news about how our country is being managed, protests, Brexit…the list goes on. It actually seems impossible that anyone could continually maintain a stiff upper lip
We humans don’t react well to circumstances out of our control - continued uncertainty and having our freedom taken away are bound to cause us more anxiety than usual - it’s kind of how we are programmed
It is not a sign of weakness to express our emotions, in fact it is much healthier to recognise when something needs to change
Don’t struggle alone
It is a fact that a problem shared is a problem halved. Even though it can feel very uncomfortable admitting that we need help, it’s so important that we don’t struggle silently on our own
Find someone that you can talk to whether it’s a friend, a work colleague or even a professional therapist. Sometimes just being able to vocalise how you are feeling and having someone to listen can put things in perspective
How often do we tell the truth or hear the truth when we are asked or ask the question ‘how are you?’. If things are not fine - there is nothing wrong in saying that we are actually not fine
Relationships are being tested in the current climate but that is often because we don’t fully consider how the other person is feeling. Showing empathy towards others can help us to deal with our own reactions to situations
Don’t bottle up your feelings
We all have a tendency to bury our head in the sand, knuckle down and just get on with it, convincing ourselves that everything will be ok
But if you ignore feelings of stress or anxiety for too long, they can build up and seem insurmountable and can start to seriously affect our health
Find a way to release your feelings in a way that you are comfortable with. For me, it’s either having a good cry (crying is the barometer of my life so I know if things are particularly bad if I am crying more than usual) or going for a long run. Talk to someone, scream, punch a pillow - just do something to get some of the pent up emotion out of your system
Don’t assume everyone else is fine
You may think that others seem to be holding it together or coping better than you but chances are they are not. They are probably putting on a brave face too
It is pointless comparing ourselves to other people - in every aspect of life. So what if other people appear to be coping magnificently during lockdown - getting fit, learning new hobbies, de-cluttered their house, growing stronger in their relationships - bully for them. But they are not you - for you, getting through another week with your sanity intact may be enough
Don’t give up!
In life, irrespective of the circumstances - there will be shitty days and wonderful days - FACT
You could change jobs, change your partner, find a partner, move to somewhere else, win the lottery and there will STILL be shitty days! If we can accept that then it makes it a bit easier to accept that is just how we are conditioned to react to the ups and downs life
Even though it doesn’t feel like it - things WILL get better (I have it on good authority from the optimism fairies)
If you are struggling, know that you are not alone. Let’s all try to be there for each other.
